Well, I figured my luck would run out eventually on PUGs (pickup groups) and it did. Last night, I did Deadmines (a.k.a. VC or Van Cleef) for the 3rd time. It was almost a level appropriate group (except for a 40-43 hunter) where everyone was in the 20-24 range. Except for a 15 twink warrior who insisted that because he had twink gear he could be the main tank.

One example of a typical fight: The warrior is running ahead and is around the corner, the warlock is off mining, while the hunter and rogue are with me fighting yet another set of mobs. And that's pretty much how it went the entire time. At one point I was tossing a renew, running 20-30 paces back towards the other room to toss heals, then running back.

Of course, it doesn't help that our warrior was an A.D.D. kid with no clue as to how poorly he was doing his job. I sit down to med up and take a drink (since I'm at 25% mana). The other 3 players wait with me. The warrior runs off and aggros mobs and gets killed and wants to know where I was ("sitting on my bum getting mana back"). Earlier, he had entered the instance before us (again... I'm sticking with the 40+ hunter and the other two players) and wants to know where I am ("I'm with the *other* 3 members of the group, where are you?").

Lessons learned from last night (after 4 deaths):

1) I don't care how much of a twink you are. If you're not at least within 1 level of the mobs inside (or higher) and you want to be the main tank... you can find yourself another healer. There's no way you can do enough damage, or establish enough aggro to make up for the amount of healing that you'll require. Which means that those mobs will be making a beeline for my cloth covered rump. (That was the cause of death #1 and death #3.)

2) If I'm running back and entering an instance where there are roving patrols, then you'd best be coming to escort me back to the party. And I'm not moving from the zone in point until I have buffed everyone and I'm back at full health and mana. (That was death #2.)

3) I'm not a miracle worker. If you can't all stick together, get on the same mobs, and avoid aggro, then I'm going to /hearthstone and ya'll can look for another priest. Getting through an instance is not a race and I don't give a rat's hind end about your DPS meters. (Death #4 was when the warrior, after getting his quest update, left group and ran off towards the exit.)

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Still, if you can heal a dysfunctional pickup group, it's good training for when the proverbial brown stuff hits the rotating ceiling fan in a normal group or raid.

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Note: A lot of this is tongue in cheek...

1) Never join a group where the main tank is more then 1-2 levels below the average mob in the instance. It doesn't matter how much of a twink they are, they'll require too much healing and they can't do enough damage/aggro to stop those mobs from chasing your cloth covered rump.

2) If everyone is taking aggro off the main tank... you're going to get beat on.

3) Pickup groups are either a race to be at the top of the DPS meter or else the group will be trying to set a record time for finishing the instance. And they won't tell you of their olympic aspirations at the start of the night, but you'll figure it out as your supply of drink and mana potions runs low after the first 45 minutes.

4) Carry at least 4 stacks of drink and 1 stack of food. And a few health and mana potions. If you're lucky, a kind soul in the group will hand you drink that will restore a fifth of your mana if you can find the time to sit and drink for 20 sec.

5) A good pickup group is one that fights simultaneously in the same general area of the dungeon. If you can see all of the other 4 members of the group at the same time, consider it good fortune that is unlikely to last. Most of the time, you'll be running back and forth between different rooms frantically casting heals as each party member solos a different room. So make sure you're wearing comfortable boots!

6) Sitting down to drink is apparently a signal for the group to pull the next set of mobs.